Most kids grow out of their shyness over time, but I was different. I never liked playing outside, kept to myself, and avoided participating in social activities. The home was my sanctuary. My mother was a housewife. She was not formally educated, but she was the nurturer of our home. My father was a businessman, a social worker, and a teacher. Popularly known as ‘Master Ji,’ his dedication and persistence towards his work and family significantly impacted many. He was a strict disciplinarian at home and ensured everyone followed a routine. Today, in retrospect, I think he gave me and my siblings a great childhood.
Growing up, I decided to pursue social work just like my father. Something about this field was deeply gratifying. I wanted to bring a difference in people’s lives. Support them at their lowest ebb. I was in the first year of graduation when my parents got me married in an arranged set-up.
As humans, we all strive to create the best possible life for our families. Yet, sometimes, even with the best intentions, we fail to do so. That’s what happened in my marriage. Soon after I got married, we started experiencing financial difficulties. My husband had a family business. Despite handling all the responsibilities and supporting my father-in-law shoulder-to-shoulder, he was not paid any salary or given any money. My in-laws controlled all the money. Even for little expenses like buying ration, we had to ask. This did not go down my throat very well.
At first, I quietly observed and (in hindsight) hoped for things to improve. But then I started to nudge my husband to put a foot down, retaliate, and look for another job if they still didn’t budge. But all my efforts went down the drain. His indecisiveness stopped him from taking even a step further. It became suffocating. We were drowning in a never-ending cycle of earnings, expenses, and multiple other hardships. In due course of time, I got pregnant. But nothing changed. Throughout my pregnancy, I worked day and night to make ends meet. After my children were born, I started sewing and taking tuition classes to raise them. Money problems in marriage are common, but this was slowly becoming a financial crisis, and I was pushing my husband to act before it got too late. When my in-laws figured I wouldn’t keep quiet, they dominated me in other ways. One day, my brother-in-law slapped me in a rage, and everyone watched quietly. That was like a final nail in the coffin. I packed my bags, picked up my children, and left the house.
We lived at my parents’ house for a while, but when my father passed away, my brothers started having issues with us staying over. Arguments began over the distribution of property—even over the price of the house. I understood it was time for me to evolve and rebuild my life. I began chasing my dreams once again.
During one of my visits to the Swami Sivananda Institute of Fine Arts and Crafts (SSMI), I witnessed a legal session for underprivileged women. The discourse helped me to draw parallels between social work and these sessions. After they got over, I met Ms. Ravinder Kaur, the core member of this project, and shared my interest in this subject. She pointed me towards GRC (Gender Resource Centre), run by SSMI. There was an opportunity. I applied, and my journey as a community mobilizer began. I never knew that a single chance would open so many doors for me.
As I progressed, additional responsibilities came my way. I gained extensive experience and in-depth knowledge in generating awareness around important areas such as health, education, and nutrition. Then, a few years later, the Director of SSMI, Ms. Sunita Bhasin, offered me the role of a non-formal education instructor. She made me a part of the adult education program. Besides that, I also started taking remedial classes for academically weak students.
